Helping a Loved One Struggling with Addiction

Watching someone you care about battle addiction can be painful and overpowering. Whether it’s a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or close friend, their struggle can seep into all areas of your life. You might feel helpless, frustrated, or angry. While it might not be possible to force someone to seek treatment, your support can meaningfully help them move beyond substance abuse.

This page explains what addiction involves, outlines the most common signs of substance abuse, and shows you how to encourage your loved one to get the help they need.

Understanding Addiction and Its Impact

Addiction is not a bad habit, and it’s not a moral failure or a lack of willpower. Substance use disorder is a chronic and relapsing disorder that impacts the brain’s ability to control impulses, process rewards, and manage emotions. People fighting addiction often feel trapped in an unmanageable cycle of cravings, substance use, and withdrawal.

For family members, this vicious cycle can prompt emotional, financial, and physical distress. You may find yourself covering for your loved one, handling responsibilities they neglect, or continuously worrying about their well-being. It’s common to feel guilt, fear, or resentment. That said, you should keep in mind that addiction is not a choice but rather an illness that requires support and treatment.

Signs Your Loved One May Have an Addiction

It’s not always straightforward to determine when someone is addicted to drugs, alcohol, or prescription medications. People with substance use disorders often hide their use, downplay its severity, or make excuses for their behavior. There are, though, some common signs that indicate someone could be abusing addictive substances:

• Changes in behavior: Mood swings, irritability, secrecy, or withdrawal from friends and family.
• Neglecting responsibilities: Missing work or school, ignoring family obligations, or failing to pay bills.
• Physical signs: Weight loss, poor hygiene, unusual sleeping patterns, or bloodshot eyes.
• Financial issues:  Asking for money frequently, missing rent payments, or selling possessions.
• Legal problems: DUI arrests, possession charges, or other run-ins with law enforcement.
• Health problems: Frequent illness, unexplained injuries, or signs of overdose.

If you notice a cluster of these warning signs in a loved one, take action—addiction is a progressive condition that typically worsens unless treated. Still, timely intervention and evidence-based treatment produce positive outcomes.

How to Talk to Someone about Their Addiction

Starting a conversation about addiction is never easy. Many people abusing drugs or alcohol feel ashamed and become defensive, making them resistant to help. Here are some ways to approach the discussion and open an ongoing dialogue:

Choose the right time

Find a moment when your loved one is sober, calm, and not preoccupied with other stressors. Avoid discussing addiction during an argument or when emotions are running high.

Use “I” statements

Instead of blaming or accusing, explain how the person’s behavior affects you directly. For example: “I’m worried about you. I’ve noticed you’ve been missing work lately and always seem tired. I care about you and want to help.”

Listen without judgment

Your loved one may react with denial or anger. Don’t argue and allow them to express their feelings without censure. Acknowledge their struggles and let them know you’re there to support them.

Offer help, not ultimatums

Stating, “You need to go to rehab, or I’m done with you,” is inadvisable and potentially counter-productive. Try, “I found some treatment options that might help. Would you be open to looking at them together?”

Be patient

Addiction rewires the brain, making change difficult to initiate. It may take multiple conversations before your loved one accepts that they have a problem or agrees to seek help.

Supporting a Loved One’s Recovery

Once your loved one decides to engage with treatment, your support can make a dramatic difference in their journey. Recovery involves much more than discontinuing substance use. The person needs to rebuild a life free of drugs or alcohol and develop healthy ways to deal with life’s everyday stressors and challenges.

Encourage professional treatment

There are different types of addiction treatment, and what works best varies from person to person. Some common options include:

• Inpatient rehab: A structured residential program providing medical and therapeutic support over 30 to 90 days at a rehab center.
• Outpatient programs: Flexible treatment that enables individuals to continue daily responsibilities while receiving compassionate care.
• Therapy and counseling: Individual or group therapy to probe the drivers of addiction.
• Medication-assisted treatment: FDA-approved medications that reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms during detox and beyond.

Offer to help your loved one research treatment centers, schedule appointments, or provide transportation. Even small gestures can show them they’re not alone.

Set healthy boundaries

Loving someone with an addiction doesn’t need to mean tolerating harmful behavior or accepting the unacceptable. Setting boundaries protects your well-being and encourages accountability. Some examples include:

• Not giving money: Instead of financially supporting their addiction, offer to pay directly for essentials like groceries or a treatment program to help them get back on track.
• Refusing to cover for them: Avoid making excuses to their employer, school, or family members.
• Enforcing house rules: If they live with you, make it clear that substance use in the home isn’t acceptable.

Boundaries are not intended to punish the person. They help create a healthy environment where recovery is the overriding priority.

Be prepared for setbacks

Relapse is common in addiction recovery—roughly half of those who get treatment will slip up at least once during the first year. If your loved one relapses, don’t view this as a failure. Instead of reacting with anger, remind them that recovery is a process that might not always be linear. Encourage them to seek additional support and recalibrate their life.

Taking care of yourself

Supporting a loved one through addiction is emotionally draining. It’s easy to become so focused on their well-being that you neglect your own. Prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish but necessary.

Find support

There’s no need to go through this alone. Support groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or therapy for family members can help you cope with the stress of loving someone with an addiction. Talking to others who understand can provide welcome comfort and guidance.

Practice stress management

Addiction can create constant worry and tension in the household. Activities like exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time with supportive friends can help you manage stress.

Know your limits

You can offer love and support, but you can’t force someone to change. If their addiction is putting you at risk—physically, emotionally, or financially—it may be necessary to step back. Protecting your well-being doesn’t mean you don’t care.

Encouraging Long-Term Recovery

Recovery is an ongoing process that doesn’t end when someone completes a rehab program. The journey to sustained sobriety requires lifestyle changes, continued support, and unwavering commitment in the face of temptation. Here’s how you can help your loved one stay on the right path:

• Encourage therapy and peer support: Programs like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or NA (Narcotics Anonymous) provide long-term accountability.
• Create a drug-free environment: Avoid drinking or using drugs around them.
• Help them build a new routine: Finding new hobbies, reconnecting with loved ones, and setting goals can help fill the void left by addiction.
• Celebrate progress: Acknowledge milestones, whether it’s 30 days sober or completing a treatment program. Encouragement can keep the person motivated.

When an Intervention May Be Necessary

If your loved one refuses to accept that they have an addiction or continue harmful behaviors despite your concerns, a formal intervention may help. This involves gathering family and close friends to confront the person and encourage treatment. A trained interventionist can guide the process and help prevent emotional outbursts that could derail the conversation.

An intervention is not meant to shame or force someone into rehab. It aims to show them the impact of their addiction and provide a clear path to recovery.

Finding Help Today

You don’t have to handle this alone. Many organizations offer support for both individuals struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) has a national helpline for the loved ones of those abusing drugs or alcohol. Call 1-800-662-HELP (6264) at any time for immediate assistance.

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are designed to provide peer support for those with loved ones addicted to alcohol or drugs.

Although it’s not straightforward to help a loved one with an addiction, your support could make the difference between repeated relapse and sustained sober living.

Help Your Loved One Get Compassionate and Effective Addiction Treatment at Anchored Recovery

If you need to help a friend or family member addicted to drugs or alcohol, reach out to Anchored Recovery Community right away.

We specialize in the outpatient treatment of substance use disorder at our luxury beachside rehab center. We offer outpatient programs at all levels of intensity to help your loved one get back on track without neglecting their everyday commitments.

All our treatment plans are personalized and include a blend of science-backed and holistic interventions to promote whole-body recovery.Get immediate assistance for your loved one by calling (844) 429-5554.